August 2005 Archives

Haha, just kidding. What a weird coincidence that the site should go down for the whole day shortly after Julie put up her first post. Sadly, that's all it was: a coincidence.

Julie, if you checked back today to see if anyone responded to your post, don't worry that you crashed this site. You didn't. There were some technical problems this afternoon that had nothing to do with you. :) Keep on posting!

Sorry, my first attempt at blogging, and already I sent wrong info. For those of you that want to check out watch dog. I gave you the wrong address. It's www.familywatchdog.us

You should really check it out. Sorry about the first link, but hey, maybe I gave that company some business!

Hello, my brother has invited me to post on here. So, here I am, I hope he isn't sorry he put out these invites. Already I have to tell you something that happened.

Last week was the first week of school. On, like, the second day, the kids were walking to the bus stop (we live on a long culdesac and they have to catch the bus at the very end). There were my three kids and the two neighbor kids just meandering along when an old red beat up car with a scraggly guy in it came buzzing down the street. It caught all of our attention because #1 we usually know everyone who comes down the culdesac, and #2 he was going so fast in such a loud car. He got to the end of the street, and just stopped, so did the kids -they panicked and were all in the road-in his way. He looked like a worker (theres still some new construction around here) who just wanted to turn around, but couldn't because there were five kids dispersed in the road. All of a sudden the kids got freaked out that he had stopped and in unison they all started screaming and running for their front doors. Us moms were standing there and we said, "Guys, calm down you were in his way, he had to stop so he didn't hit you. If something makes you that nervous, follow your instincts, you did the right thing. But next time don't stand in the middle of the circle." The kids left and we retold the story over and over, joking about how overconscious our kids are and fearing that we've made them paranoid. Well, this morning the car came back. This time they all got out of the way, and Blake yelled, Mom its the same car. What do you think??? Is a bad guy stalking my kids??? How wierd is that?? Anyway, just last week a friend gave me the link to Watchdog.com thats the sight you can go to and see if any convicted child molestors live in your neighborhood. So that just adds to my freaking out. You know what they say, Paranoia will destroy ya! But these are my kids!!!

Sure, the site is detestably pink, but it's full of love. Would you like to be able to post on this blog?

Alecia and I realize that we're not updating nearly enough, and we'd like to open the floor to our friends and family. If you'd like to be able to post on the site, let me know. It's easy. I'd create a login for you, then send you a link. You'd click on the link, log in, and type away. There obviously wouldn't be any commitment of any kind. You can post whenever you want, or not.

It would be a nice way for us to keep up with our extended family, instead of this being totally one-sided. Plus, it would keep fresher content on this page for the people who check it regularly.

If you're interested, let me know. All I need is your email address and what you'd like your login name to be. It takes me about a minute to set it up.

Check out this page. See anything weird about it?

Being one of our biggest competitors, we keep tabs on what they put online. I put some pics on their "characters" section to see how it works. Now, two months later, we're on the homepage! They must not be getting a lot of submissions...

I promised Alecia that I would post an update on the site, so here it is. Sorry that we haven't posted more frequently, but we've been in a time/energy deficit lately, and updating the site is usually one of the first things we neglect when we run out of steam. It's always a struggle to get Alecia to post, anyway, and it becomes doubly difficult when she's tired or in a mood. As for me, I post on one website or another every freaking day, so I occasionally run into a little burnout. Not only is managing content on a website my full-time job, but I currently write for four different blogs (one of which is for work). That's a lot of blogging, and I think it's giving me herpes. Okay, I wrote that just to see if you were still paying attention. So far, this post has been less than stellar. I wanted to see if anyone fell asleep already. :) If you haven't, you will...

The House
As all of you know, Alecia and I officially purchased the home we'd been renting for the past two years. Since signing the papers two months ago, we've been in a home-remodeling frenzy, much to the detriment of my aching back and our empty wallets. We replaced the carpet and flooring in half the house with Pergo flooring. We painted the kitchen, living room and office. We moved the girls into one room, moved the office stuff out of the den and turned the den into a playroom. Just last week, I rewired the house for cable and ethernet. Now, we have nice, new cable jacks in every room (where there once were cable lines coming up through the floor). We also have a "wired for broadband" home. I put ethernet jacks in several rooms and ran cable all over so that we can get broadband internet from anywhere in the house. Yes, this was a geek project, but now our two ReplayTV units, three computers and the PS2 are all "jacked in" to the Internet. (Let's just hope the time spent crawling around amongst the fiberglass insulation in our 110° attic was worth it.)

We also attacked the exterior of our palacious abode. Alecia and I tore out about eight man-sized bushes from the front of the house, pulled bushels of weeds and cut some huge branches off of our old dogwood. We also had two of our 100-foot white pines cut down. We have about thirty pines on our property. They're massive trees without branches on 2/3 of their length. They cover our house and yard with needles in the fall (I removed 23 bags of them last autumn), and they rain down branches when we get a bad storm. Our plan is to cut a few of them down each year until we can reclaim our yard. It may take a while, but we'll eventually have a backyard with grass and a swingset for the kids to play on. Along with tearing things up, Alecia's also been planting. She moved a lot of plants around and filled in a lot of the areas that opened up when we tore out the bushes.

We have more to do on the house, outside and in. We want to pressure wash the deck and the front of the house, install gutters, fix the windows and screens on the back porch, replace our sliding glass door, (finally) finish the trim on the new floor, put a faux veneer on the fireplace, paint and put new carpet in the bedrooms and den, and eventually knock out half of the wall between the living room and den. As much as we have to do, we've tried to pace ourselves. In the beginning, we were doing (and spending) too much, too soon. Now, we're trying to space the projects out to give us (and our pocketbooks) a breather. Besides, it's hard to really dive into a project when both the kids and the daily upkeep on the house require their own commitments. With all of the rain we've been getting, we have to mow every week. And Maddie and Josie ensure that we'll have plenty of cleaning/repair projects to keep us busy.

The Kids
Maddie and Josie are doing great. Maddie continually impresses us with her intelligence and her language skills (and not just in a 'proud parent' way, but sometimes in a 'my god, she's a freak of nature!' way). The kid can count like a pro and knows about a dozen songs (including a near-perfect alphabet, except for the end where she replaces "next time, won't you sing with me" with "next time, no more ABCs"). She's a HUGE mimic, and will repeat almost anything an adult says to her, which is both good and bad. Her vocabulary grows every day, but she also picks up any ugly thing you let slip out. Also, being strong linguistically comes with its own negatives. Primarily, the kid won't shut up. Anyone who thinks I talk a lot should spend an hour with Maddie. The kid babbles endlessly. Of course, even this has a bright side. Maddie's so creative that she makes up her own songs and acts out little skits with her dolls. So the talking is pretty darn entertaining most of the time.

Maddie's also a freak of nature physically. Josie has already caught her in weight, and will soon pass her in height. But I don't think any kid can match her in toughness. Maddie is an obsessive climber, but inherited her mother's clumsiness. Meaning that she climbs--then falls off of--everything she sees. She used to hit her head so often that Alecia seriously asked me if I thought she may be brain damaged. (The answer is yes. She may be.) Now, she has learned how to fall, so she manages to catch herself with her elbows and knees before her head can smack concrete. Not that she no longer hits her head, it's just lessened a bit. Her "no fear" policy extends to the pool, by the way. If you're ever at the pool with her, do NOT let her out of arm's reach. She somehow has such limitless trust in adults that she thinks she can jump into the water from anywhere and you'll catch her...even if you're not yet in the pool. I love the fact that she's not afraid of the water, but it scares the hell out of me to know she "doesn't have the sense god gave her" when it comes to swimming. (One of my grandma's expressions, I think.) We're signing her up for swim lessons next summer. We would've done it this year, but we kept having babies.

By the way, Maddie's second birthday is coming up soon. We'll send out party info as soon as we've figured things out. As for gifts, I'm telling you now, buy the kid some Pez. She LOVES the stuff. We'll post pictures soon, but Maddie found a bag of Pez dispensers I had in my closet and takes them everywhere. She likes playing with the "people" almost as much as she likes eating the candy. Santa Claus, Chewbacca and Wonder Woman are her favorites, and she often adds Hulk to that list.

Speaking of the Hulk, Josie is doing great, too. Yes, Alecia will kick me in the nuts for that comment. She thinks I need to be nicer when talking about Josie's gargantuan-ness. I ask her, "Was Josie being nice when she ate that four-month-old at playgroup last week?" I think not.

Okay, that's two kicks. I may as well say goodbye to both of my nuts. (Goodbye. I'll miss you.)

Anyway, I know girls are sensitive and we don't want Josie to have weight issues. But if you can't make fun of them when they don't speak English, when can you? I'll stop when I notice it's making her cry. (Okay, I'm just being stupid now, but it feels like I've been typing this post forever, so I'm starting to get loopy.) The only reason I ever joke about Josie is that Josie inspires levity--she is the happiest baby in the entire world, and makes you smile and laugh every time you look her way. I have never seen a more excitable baby. You only have to look at her and she beams like the sun. Pretty cool stuff, especially when you're driving in the car and you turn around to check on her, only to see she's contorting her whole body in her car seat just to look over her shoulder at you. As soon as she makes eye contact, she grins like the Cheshire Cat.

Josie is the opposite of Maddie in so many ways. While they both share their innate stubbornness (thanks, Alecia), that's where most of the similarities end. Where Maddie is very verbal, but clumsy, Josie rarely makes noise but constantly flexes her muscles. She not only has better hand-eye coordination than Maddie had at this age, but she's twice as strong and can use her feet like a monkey. No kidding! The kid can pick up bottles with her feet, and often uses the feet to hold things in her mouth while she's laying on her back. And the kid loves to jump. When we put her in her exersaucer, we have to put blankets under it to muffle the sound--she jumps so hard that she literally crashes down. In her Johnny Jump-up, she jumps so high she can almost hang on the doorframe. The only negative of this strength and physical aptitude is that she kicks whenever anything comes in contact with her feet. If you're holding her, you have to put her on your side or she'll kick you in the jewels with her little tree trunks. She's actually quite hard to hold onto as she squirms so much. The good thing is that she's only a few weeks away from crawling, which will give her the power to get herself where she wants to go. Sure, it will be weird to see a baby crawling through the mall, but it'll be less painful than carrying her.

Unfortunately, Josie may be strong, but I have a feeling she'll be crawling into things in the near future. See, Josie has some problems with her eyes. Our pediatrician sent us to an opthamologist last week to have Josie's peepers checked, as she was worried she may have problems with the muscles of her eyes. What do you know, she was right in sending us. Josie is totally farsighted. The doctor said she'd have to get glasses at a VERY early age, the poor thing. Again, something she got from Alecia, as I've never had glasses. The good thing is that Josie looks just like her mom, which means she'll be gorgeous in glasses, so it's no big deal. Have you ever seen a one-year-old in cat's-eye frames? You will.

Josie also cut her first tooth today, Alecia just told me. She's been in such a good humor that I didn't know she was even teething (another difference between her and Maddie, who cried constantly when she was teething). Oh, and she's almost sleeping through the night, too! I say almost because she hasn't quite gotten it down yet. She has had a few nights of solid sleep, but still tends to wake up at 2 or 3AM each night, then again at 5:30. This is better than it used to be, so we're not looking a gift horse in the mouth. And since I'm usually still up when she does her first wake-up, Alecia's only having to get up once a night with her, which is a definite improvement. Soon, she'll sleep through the night, just like Maddie, and then Alecia and I will have nookie again! (Did I say that out loud?)

The Parents
Is it still cool to say "the 'rents", or do teens no longer use that? I'm a bit out of touch, but I almost used that expression. Oh well. Alecia and I are doing well, thanks for asking. I just launched three of my big four projects of the year at work (the Pauly Shore Podcast, the TBS At-Work section, and the Daily Flog). You'd think that would mean I have nothing to do. You'd be wrong. We're still trying to build our new "very funny" brand, which means a lot of side projects leading to that goal. Plus, I have that last "big four" project to work on and all of the new sections to maintain, which is a time drain. Speaking of which, did you know that my group's success is based, in part, on our site traffic? So when you click over to tbs.com or check out one of the new sections I mentioned above, you're actually helping me (and thus, helping Alecia, Maddie and Josie). And did you know that when you click on any of those sites, I wrote pretty much EVERY WORD you'll see? Now you know why I don't post on here more, and when someone asks you what your son/brother/son-in-law/etc. does, you can tell them, for the most part. It's not all that my job entails, but it's most of it. In summary, click on the tbs sites. Read the writing I get paid to do, just like you read this stuff. Help me get raises and help my kids go to college. :)

There's not much else to report on the Bill front, except that I played cards with friends last weekend and won some money. That's only noteworthy if you know that it's the first thing I've done with the guys since Josie was born (not exaggerating). Also, I was the most clueless card player there, and came in second in prize money. How clueless was I? There was one hand where I stayed in and kept raising until the very end. When the last guy folded, thinking I had a can't-lose hand, I flipped my cards over with a smile.

"You were bluffing?" he shouted. "You didn't have anything?"

"Wait," I stammered. "I didn't?" Yes, I won the biggest pot of the night because I thought I had a great hand and was one card off (of having ANYTHING). They thought I was bluffing. Little did they know I was too stupid to bluff.

Speaking of stupid, Alecia's doing well. (Hey, I figure if I have nut kicks coming, I may as well earn 'em.) Alecia continues to morph into supermom on a daily basis, prompting envy and admiration from all who know her. She's actually making an effort to teach herself how to cook, which is going better than expected. Part of the practice comes from the half dozen meals she's had to make this summer for other new moms. She can make one of my favorite dishes (barbecue chili pasta) with her eyes closed. She's also still managing the website for her mom's club, which is a valuable recruiting tool. Makes sense that she's the new member coordinator, huh?

Besides her Mom's Club stuff, Alecia actually read a book the other day! This sounds like a rip, but it isn't. Alecia is easily the smartest one in the house, I acknowledge that. She just hasn't had time to read for quite some time. So the fact that she finished a book was amazing, even if she is a speed reader. I think the book was "The Other Boleyn Girl" or something like that. She was so exhilarated from the escape the book provided as well as the feeling of finishing something that didn't have to do with the kids or the house that she was bouncing off the walls. Is it sad that we can celebrate such minor things, when we used to be real people who actually did real stuff?

Alecia also had a bit of excitement recently when she was contacted by a producer from The Tyra Banks Show. Alecia had submitted an app online to be on an upcoming show about new moms trying to find a mommy fashion sense, and they called to get more info. They wanted her to send in some pics, in the chance that they might pick her for the makeover show, or maybe even use her for another one in the future. Of course, Alecia screwed this part of the story up. See, she sent them this pic. And this one. See anything wrong with those pictures? Yeah, that is one chica who is NOT in need of a makeover. Why would anyone send GOOD pictures as a request for a makeover? There's no way they're going to pick her now. What could they do? She already has great hair and makeup, and with that figure, she looks good in anything, especially jeans. They'd have nothing to do. So way to drop the ball on that one, Al. You could've worn sweats and one of my shirts. You could've gone make-up free and shown off some bedhead. But no, you had to be pretty, costing yourself a trip to LA. Some people will never learn.

Well, that's all I can think of at the moment. But really, isn't that enough? If there's anything else that I left out, you can always call us. We spend EVERY FREAKING NIGHT at home, so it's unlikely that we'd miss your call. We do screen, however, so if you get the machine, keep talking until we pick up.

Congrats to Rob for his sketch comedy troupe getting a pic in the magazine Timeout Chicago, as part of the writeup for the Chicago Comedy Association's "Laughing at Lunchtime" series. It seems like Rob's group is getting more and more opportunities and positive buzz all the time. I just wish we were closer to Chicago, so we could see them perform live...

Click here to view a scan of the article and read it for yourself.

Or, visit the website for Rob's group, OneTwoThree Comedy.

Warning: This may gross some of you out, unless you already have kids.

This morning I was wrestling and playing on the floor with Maddie and Josie. I was lying on my back with Maddie straddling my stomach, and holding Josie's hands while she straddled my neck. Both were jumping and giggling and it was a real bonding moment. That is, until I noticed that Josie had a poopie diaper. And not just a poopie diaper, but one that had leaked out ONTO MY NECK AND SHIRT. I've had some gross moments as a mother so far, but even this one topped them all.

Any other gross parent moments you want to share?

Josie had her 6 month appointment the other day. She's doing great. So well, in fact, that she's nearly caught up with her sister in weight. Josie weighs 18 pounds. Maddie weighs 20 pounds. They wear the same size diaper. They are one size apart in clothing (mostly because Josie's shorter). All this and they are 15 months apart in age. We really do have Irish twins.

Seriously, though, the appointment went really well. Josie got her vaccinations, but Maddie cried more than she did. She started crying when she heard Josie yowl, and then couldn't stop for the next 20 minutes. Josie stopped crying as soon as I picked her up from the exam table.

Josie still isn't sleeping through the night and takes a full bottle every 3-4 hours, so I asked the doctor if it would be alright if I skipped a feeding and tried to get her to sleep longer, even though she was crying. The doc made some great suggestions, and ended them by saying "Look at her. That baby isn't going to starve to death if you let her sleep 12 hours straight!"

It reminded me of the story my mom used to tell about me as a baby. I was a rather, um, large baby who was eating table food at 6 weeks old. When my mom took me to the doctor for my 3 month appt, she asked about whether she should be giving me vitamins. The doctor replied, "Does she LOOK like she needs vitamins?"

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Someone mentioned the other day that Josie looks like a Kewpie doll. What do you think?